Ok, this won't be a regular analyze the text and go kind of article, because rather than talking on the verses above, it will be more on my own fasting experience (like a testimony) by removing all social media and basically the internet, and what happened after the fast. I hope this will encourage you, my brothers and sisters, to further grow closer to God, and live in His Love, that perhaps through this testimony we may understand, if only a little, the Love of God. The "chapters", let's call them, will be listed like this [#], and oh yeah, skip [6] if you don't want to be "overwhelmed" or "saddened", just as a warning, because [6] did go through some of my thoughts during some spiritual attacks. Now, on with the fast. Like how many fasted from food, I fast from electronics, not because it is all bad, but to be spiritually prepared to use God's Word and overcome Satan's temptations. And before any confusion comes up, no; I do not believe all internet stuff is "bad" by any means (technically, this website is a social outlet, and it's helped me with posted verses and connections), but yes, I do believe, some, if not most electronics, serves as great distractions from our Lord Jesus Christ. Before someone says that's crazy, to me, it stands true. Because I've tried, so many many times to cooperate worshiping God, and just an example, with watching even a "harmless" video, yet I still get distracted and could not give Glory to God whilst doing it. I've tried so many times, and maybe it's just a me thing, and maybe it's not a big deal to most Christians, but to me from what God has revealed, going on electronics especially without purpose and doing it mindlessly is dangerous, and manifests itself in sins like sloth and lust. Perhaps the culture or society or the evil powers of this world is trying to make itself "normal" or "like God", because the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking for anyone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Therefore, we are to be watchful and have self control, and the best way to do that, following Jesus's example and the Apostle Paul's, is to fast. 

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[1]

Now, I'm writing this several days from my previous fast from electronics, which has helped me handle the internet with more responsibility, but there's several things that's happened even after the fast which I do want to talk about. So yeah, unlike the usual article, this will be more personal/testimonial, starting with the fast, which looking back on it now, is more of the prologue than the actual "snares". So to start this all off, I'm going to be brutally honest, because there's no easy way to say this; I failed the fast. This may come as a surprise to some, but it was never going to be perfect. I shouldn't have been aiming for perfection in the first place, but to be more in union with God, which came as a realization I'll talk more on later about. Thus, I was tempted, and fell many times. Somehow, I'd imagined from the back of my mind one day I could just go the WHOLE SEVEN DAYS without ANY internet whatsoever, and yeah, guess how that turned out? Of course, I'd start making exceptions even within the first day, and at the time I thought it wasn't that bad, it was only thirty minutes, but now looking back on it, I'm ashamed to even admit I'd been "fasting", (and though I, as in the new self, was trying to fast, I don't even think it counts, as the exceptions just kept increasing). I wish things were different, that perhaps if I had more self control or weren't so afraid of just... discomfort. But then came the temptations, which was always there, even though at times it wasn't as big, but when I thought I'd "won" over it, BAM, it'd strike and I hardly knew what happened. Old habits, the old self, the sinful flesh. It really was difficult. At times, it really did feel as though I was doing great, and then I'd get prideful, and next thing I'd know, well, temptation. Temptation, which brought failure when I was not ready to fight or flee or resist. In fact, I don't think I was ever ready. And then it was just a painful cycle where I was like; "I'd do better next time", or "this time didn't count" or "I'll start tomorrow". And then I'd get tempted again, and sin yet again, and fail God yet again, and repent. Except it wasn't repentance. It was false repentance, because unlike true repentance which brings change to one's life to holiness and brings one closer to God, even when tempted by idols, false repentance has no change. False repentance doesn't renew the mind, it keeps the mind trapped. False repentance has us to think we've changed and convinced ourselves we have, except we don't put the effort out there, and our actions, which speak louder than any vow, still have yet to show the fruits of the Spirit. And yes, self control is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Thus, this deceitful mindset, I'd soon come to see, was not helping me grow closer to God, and growing closer to God was the whole reason I'd chose to fast. 

[2]

I knew I could not be perfect on my own. I've always known that, and when Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount said, "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matt 5:48), He never said it is achieved by human power, nor alone, nor is He telling us to be sinless. But rather, He was telling us to be teleios, which is the Greek word used for "perfect", which is translated to words closer to "mature" or "whole". But how do we do that? And so came the big breakthrough for me that, it was never about me in the first place. But about Him. "For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified." (Heb 10:14) He has already perfected us forever who are being set apart. By trying, I see my dirtiness, my sin, that no matter how hard I try, would always come short. Whether it'd be distracting myself or thinking a certain bad thought or even an accident, we cannot just do stuff ourselves, because with the sinful nature we have, there is not one perfect, except the incarnate Jesus Christ. And so I see then; that the law reveals our sin, but we are not saved by these laws of the earth, but by the Cross. And the more I came up short, the more I realized the need for the Cross and Jesus Christ's death on it. And then knowing I can do nothing on my own, I began to rely more on God, rather than going off on my own trying to create some perfect version of myself, because that was always impossible. Self improvement and all the efforts of focusing on self, is selfish. Not that we shouldn't take care of ourselves, but focusing on ourselves to where God is not our main focus of thought, is dangerous. Rather, we are to glorify Him always, submit to Him always, and have reliance on Him always, which is what really changed the rest of the fast.

[3]

I relied on God to get me out of this destructive cycle. I was dirty, and I was weak. I was nothing, and knew that I needed Christ more than I needed any other worldly thing. But it is when I am weak, by the emptying of myself, I was made strong, by being filled with God's Grace and Love. "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:10) Now, during those cases where I was weak, I've got to say, I was also distressed. I was really uncertain, and I didn't know where to go from here in my weakness. But He said, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28) He didn't call for us to come perfect alone, but to come as we are, as sinners, so we may be healed. He wants to grow us maturely in faith, and He wants us to be made whole, but to do that, we must submit and really trust God. Therefore, we are to put ourselves aside and rely on Him, not as a prideful thing, but knowing perfection is impossible with the law, with Christ it is possible. Because it is not perfection we chase after, but union with God. And it turns out we don't need to chase Him at all, but He's already here, waiting for us to turn to Him, to rely on Him. So rather than fighting our own battles alone, or facing temptations alone, or failing alone, we rely on God, knowing that with God, nothing is ever impossible. As we are the dust of the earth, with His breath we are made alive. So though my fasting was a failure, at the same time, it wasn't. Because fasting revealed to me my own failures, that with this strict set of "laws" I've set for myself, I can't keep it. And perhaps it was a lack of self control, for in another scenario maybe I could've gone all seven days without the internet, though that was never the lesson to be learnt from the fast. But reliance on God. To make one lowly and humble and meek, to be ready and willing to receive and listen, to realize slowly but surely we can do nothing by ourselves, but only through God, through constant renewal by every passing day. At the present, since it's been a week and or two, I can't remember all the details, but the main thing I've learned from this experience was this; that more than any perfection standards one could set, God comes first. More than the achievements. More than the goals we set for ourselves. More than any finish line we draw in our minds. God always always always forever and ever comes first. And to be union with God, we must be humble. We must be willing to receive, and to be in a place to receive God, we must give ourselves up, which is not easy. But true repentance was never easy, and may look like weakness in the eyes of the world, but in the eyes of God, it is pleasing and holy. 

[4]

It's been a few days since the fast, and though relying on God and always keeping my thoughts on God is difficult, when my mind is on God, many of the failures that's kept me in those cycles have lessened. Not completely gone, but it's power has been stripped away. Temptation, of course, still remained pleasing to the old flesh, and though it did not get easier to deal with, in fact, the more I grew closer to God, the harder temptations got, I do know keeping my mind on Christ and His Word has helped. Because in the end, God is more important than anything else, and His Love is abundant and merciful, extending to the worst of sinners. That we may increase in His Way rather than our own. And even today, I am growing, we are growing, in union with God. Just like the fast, which is a learn and grow process, for the rest of our lives we grow in the Love of God, learning of the wisdom of God and increasing in Spirit. Knowing by submitting to God's will, is when we begin to live the purpose of life God created us to be. 

[5]

Like I've said before, this is only the beginning, until our Lord and Savior comes back again, to which we await eagerly. Because with every passing day, when we choose God over our flesh, we are being perfected. We began to learn to approach the Lord with weakness, and put ourselves in a spot of lowliness, so we may be exalted, not for the sake of the kingdoms on earth, but the Kingdom of Heaven. Fast forward past the fasting period, I've begun to learn there is very much importance in serving and putting that into action. Rather than serving with grumbling, I've begun to become grateful for the opportunity to serve, knowing that when done with faith, it is not in vain. But it was when my earthly Dad got a stiff neck (that turned out to be not so much a stiff neck but more of a bone poking slightly out of his neck), that really gave me the opportunity to serve, not for the sake of any malice or pride, but being a child of God, serve out of kindness and mercy, as Christ had done for us. Now, I'm not going to list stuff out on what I did, because the aid we do in secret is not to be announced like a trumpet, but for my Dad's physical healing, I will say he was in pain and still is (he's at urgent care right now as I'm writing this), and prayers are accepted. And seeing someone in pain, whether a loved one or even an enemy, really does make one grateful for one's life. And I am grateful for life, though I say that now, but around a week ago, I was put through a massive test, against the invisible demons that looked for destruction and the ruining of souls. Like I said before, the fast was like a prelude of what's to come.

[6]